Chuck’s Challenge

Chuck Wendig challenged his readers this week with a one hundred word flash fiction contest.  Well shoot.  I just happen to have a few of those from the Shark’s very own one hundred word contests.  How convenient.  And besides, Chuck threw down a double dog dare, and that means I have to do it, right?

Some of you might remember this one:

The blush of dawn came. Summer stretched before them, along with the thought of endless, monotonous hospital treatments. She watched a sandpiper scurry after a crab, one hand over her chest where evil grew, virus like, insidious.

She said, “Promise?”

He nodded, “Promise.”

Helpless, he watched her grow weaker, until one day, she said, “Today.”

He carried her to the beach, waded in and lowered her down. She struggled, only a little, but he could see her smiling through his tears.

Later his cell rang, interrupting his anguish.

He answered and her doctor said, “I’ve made a horrible mistake.”


COMMENTS

  • Jen Donohue

    March 21, 2015

    Reply

    I DO remember that one. And even though I’d read it before, it still has that particular oompf to it. Glad you shared it again!

    • donnaeve

      March 21, 2015

      Reply

      Thanks Jen! I actually tweaked a couple words, but all in all, still the story. Very many amazing writers over there, but hey, why not enter? Might as well re-cycle when I can. 🙂

  • jacki214

    March 22, 2015

    Reply

    Great, but awful!

    • donnaeve

      March 22, 2015

      Reply

      Thank you Jacki! Yeah. I got the idea from one of those “ripped from the headlines” news moments. A mistaken diagnosis. Imagine.

  • 52lettersinthealphabet

    March 22, 2015

    Reply

    So powerful! An emotionally captivating story

  • Jenny Chou

    March 22, 2015

    Reply

    Literally gasped aloud at last sentence. Beautiful writing, but so sad. Nicely done.

    • donnaeve

      March 23, 2015

      Reply

      Hi Jenny, Thank you! Your first sentence is exactly what Janet Reid said when she ran the FF contest where I entered this story. She said something along the lines of “I decided the winner would be the entry that made me gasp out loud.” So, I won her FF with this entry, and so did another person – who made her gasp with laughter. I hope she does another one soon!

  • kmburke66

    March 24, 2015

    Reply

    I like the evocative beach scene and the “sad, but probably happens more than we know” ending.

    • donnaeve

      March 24, 2015

      Reply

      Thank you! I mentioned in one of my comments about a misdiagnosis…which is where I kind of got the idea, so you’re right. Happens more than we know – or care to know. How scary, …and yes, sad.

  • […] found out about this from my blog friend and fellow North Carolinian Donna Everhart, who dipped into her archives of Janet Reid Contest entries for her submission. Since this is my […]

  • Colin

    March 25, 2015

    Reply

    I remember this too–a worthy win, Donna! And thanks for the tip-off about Chuck’s challenge. When considering what to post, I decided to follow your example. 🙂

    • donnaeve

      March 25, 2015

      Reply

      I saw that Colin! And it was a great story and worth a recycle for sure. Good luck – honestly, I have no idea how he’d pick a winner. There are some amazing writers on his blog.


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