For The Love Of Bella

Today we loved her enough to let her go.  Today we held her close and told how her much we loved her.  She is gone and our hearts are broken.

R.I.P

Our Beloved Bella

June 29, 2000 – Aug 2, 2012

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COMMENTS

  • november

    August 3, 2012

    Reply

    I’m so incredibly sorry and sad. Take care…

    • donnaeve

      August 3, 2012

      Reply

      I am just broken by this…I loved her more than anything. Thank you for your thoughts.

      • november

        August 3, 2012

        Reply

        As a life long pet owner, my heart aches for you today. You lost your baby. Sometimes I just hate the demands of our human condition.

  • donnaeve

    August 3, 2012

    Reply

    Nothing I do lets me get away from this pain except sleep and that wasn’t great. Every step I take in this house, every room I go in, every small thing reminds me of her. She was around me all the time – both of my dogs have been like that. My other one is grieving… and I’ve cried so much, just when I think I have no tears left, somehow, they come again.

    I really appreciate your thoughts and words. It helps to write these notes and know someone shares these feelings. One day I’ll be able to look back, think of her and smile. For now, the tears are for her, because she was so extraordinarily special to us.

  • J.D.

    August 4, 2012

    Reply

    So sorry.

    • donnaeve

      August 4, 2012

      Reply

      J.D., I’m really struggling with this … thank you.

    • donnaeve

      August 6, 2012

      Reply

      Thank you J.D. I still can’t believe she’s gone.

  • Teri

    August 6, 2012

    Reply

    Oh no, I just saw this. I understand. And I’m so very sorry for your loss — our constant companions are tough to let go.

    I remember reading in Mark Doty’s “Dog Years” that dogs are not like children, that they are something different and more. Whereas we raise our children to help them learn to separate from us, our dogs go in the opposite direction and get closer and closer o us as they age, need us more, are with us more (not less). It’s so hard when they have to leave us.

    Hugs to you.

    • donnaeve

      August 6, 2012

      Reply

      Thank you Teri…it is so very hard. I am going to check out the book – I’ve not heard of it but what you said about the difference with children and dogs strikes a chord with me. I’d been trying to figure it out…and the way he put it, certainly helps me understand why this has struck me so hard.

  • MikeD

    August 6, 2012

    Reply

    Hi Donnaeve. Sorry to hear about Bella passing away. When my dog, Poko, passed away a few years ago I remember finding some of her fur in my truck — she was a shedder — and I wondered if I could have her cloned because I missed her so much. Peace.

    • donnaeve

      August 6, 2012

      Reply

      thanks Mike… now you have just confirmed for me that maybe I’m not crazy. I found the imprint of her paws upstairs on the carpet in one of the rooms and now I walk around that spot. I’ve sworn I won’t vacuum it just because she made those marks. And now I question if I should have put all her things with her…when we buried her. Her bowls, leash, harness, sweater, vest, toys…because now, what if I want those things to touch since I can’t touch her? Lord, it’s been hard, but the support everyone on here has shown me along with my husband – who has been hit just as hard by it – and my family’s support is what’s getting me through it. thank you.

  • J.D.

    August 7, 2012

    Reply

    Donna, you should make another post. I know there is much you want to hold onto. But don’t keep pummeling your own heart. She won’t be forgotten. You certainly won’t let that happen. Stiil, keeping the wound open doesn’t help. She is fine. Her spirit is there for you. Heal yourself, just a little.

    • donnaeve

      August 7, 2012

      Reply

      Funny you say that…I have been sitting here for the past day thinking about my next post. I agree and feel the need to do this too. thanks J.D.

  • […] is the month I let Bella and Kiwi go.   And this will now come to be the month when I learned my father will need to […]

  • […] came this past week of what I call, “the terrible summer.”  Of what happened to Bella and Kiwi.  All the wretched feelings I thought I’d sufficiently managed with such tight […]


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