Revving The Engine

It happens on a daily basis.  I get up with good intentions, a master plan in my head, a path through the daily routine with my goal established as firmly as roots of the one hundred year old magnolia in my yard.  In my utopian brain, my planned day has enough time carved out for everything.    Except…, it never works out that way.   I sometimes navigate through it all with the ineptitude of a kid learning to ride a bike.

Just today, I’ve been ogling the three issues of the WD magazine I need to read.  I especially want to read July/August because an article in there discusses “SECRETS TO PAGE TURNING THRILLERS AND SUSPENSE.”  But I’m such a twerp when it comes to being orderly, I feel the need to read them in succession.  Don’t ask me, I dunno.

And then, the thing is, every time I sit down and try to read during the day, I can’t – unless it’s on the internet!!  (pulls hair)  I don’t know why I can focus for HOURS when it comes to the stuff out “here,” but much like McDonald’s food, the internet sucks you in with the same addictive qualities of a psychedelic drug.   (I wouldn’t know, mind you, but that is a great analogy isn’t it?)  Yet, for some reason, as soon as I flip a magazine or book open, all I can do is think, “I should be writing!”

And so, I write.  And then I remember I haven’t looked at the regular blogs I follow yet,  so off I go for a visit.  Then, b/c I have a big mouth, I have to comment, then I realize my own blog hasn’t had a post in a few days.  Then I check my email.  Then, I look at the clock and I’m in a panic.  I only have a couple hours to write!  I open up the ms, somehow find myself stuck on a sentence somewhere in Chp 1.   I should just leave it alone, because I’m supposed to be working on Chp six – which is where I was working last time I left it.  Eventually I look at the clock.  SH–!  I have to cook dinner!

And I have to stop.

And another day is done.

And, I’m not satisfied with my progress.

And then I see in PM my agent has sold another book.

And then I see another book referenced by my editor a few months ago has also sold.

And I go to bed and I think, well damn.  But, tomorrow, tomorrow I’ll stick to my plan.

Yeah, right.

Days like this feel like I’m just revving the engine, while never coming out of Park.

Am I the only one ?

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